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Your Winter Ain't So Hot!

Over at RedRoom they are having a "winter" themed blog contest. Here is my offering:

You might be in the throes of winter right now, but I am not. Actually, half the world isn't experiencing winter right now because half the world is located in the Southern Hemisphere, where it is summer. But that is half the world "geographically speaking", not population wise, which is why, all over the internet, people are getting out snow shovels, and putting on their mittens, and drumming up "winter themed" blog events, without any regard for those of us who are seasonally challenged. Oh, I feel your crisp, subtle oppression like a snowflake on my cheek, and it isn't pretty.

Where is your global awareness? Your politically correct sensitivity? Where is the blog for the poor minority who must have Christmas dinner on the beach and go surfing afterwards? Have you no shame?

You want me to wax eloquent about the beauty of a, white, bone-chillingly cold winter in the middle of my sweaty, sunny summer? Okay. Fine! But I cannot participate in your biased, openly anti-Southern-hemispheric leanings. I will talk of winter, if you insist, but not of yours. I will talk of mine.

Winter comes once a year to New Zealand, in June. It rains a lot, and there is snow, but only in the mountains. You can play in the snow, if you are resolute in the belief that you run faster than an avalanche. Having seen a car full of tourist being dug out of an avalanche last winter, I forgo the snow play myself.

Winter is long and dark, and there is no Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or New Years to anticipate and break up the long grey days. There isn't even a 4th of July. There is only winter, and the endless prattering of the majority of the world about their wonderful, warm summer frolicking, without any consideration for the feelings of those less fortunate.

And then winter finally ends.

And the sun comes out at last.

And everyone in the world wants you to blog about winter, because obviously "they" are the center of the seasonal universe.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:24 am (UTC)
Great piece!
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:56 pm (UTC)
Thank ye. Can I pull my tongue out of my cheek now:)
Dec. 12th, 2009 12:06 am (UTC)
hehehe. De-cheeking approved. ;)
Dec. 10th, 2009 09:13 am (UTC)
Psssh. There is so snow outside of the mountains. Why, I distinctly recall being able to build a snowman in my own backyard not a decade and a half ago, and one as high as my knees, at that! :P

(But you MUST get to a skifield at least once. If ont for the actual skiing, then to watch the free show of kea pulling expensive lumps off people's rental cars!)
Dec. 10th, 2009 09:13 am (UTC)
ont = not, whoops!
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:57 pm (UTC)
Oh, I have seen the Kea- AND that's what the tourists stopped to see in the avalanche zone:)
Dec. 10th, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC)
Who says NZ doesn't have any dangerous wildlife, right? :D A pair of kea once felled a heavy branch over a spot where my parents and their friends had been sitting eating lunch moments before. Good times.
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:46 pm (UTC)
Heehee! I'll admit, most of my recent posts have had something to do with winter, snow, and coldness. I may be guilty of being northern-Hemisphere-o-centric, eep! But I did grow up in southeast Asia and Hawaii, where it was mostly warm no matter what. Oh wait, that probably doesn't make you feel better about southern Hemisphere winter either ;-)
Dec. 10th, 2009 07:00 pm (UTC)
Our summer here in ChCh has been weird so far- alternating between cool rainy days, and muggy overcast days. Sun, where art though?
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )


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